In Which I Attend Tea

Bahh, sorry kids (and by that, I mean my 1.3 average readers). It's been almost two weeks since tea, but I've been so busy and documentation sort of fell to the bottom of my priority list. But the event is this Saturday, which means rehearsal is tomorrow (ahh) and I need to be caught up.

Tea actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's very clear that I am just a total different breed of person from those people, though. And it's not a good thing or a bad thing, although it may make me uncomfortable at times.

Anyway, we arrived, and there was a fair amount of delicious food and coffee which was totally cool with me. I ate shrimp, and brownies, and chocolates, and punch, and a cupcake and I even ate fruit.

But it was one of those awkward things where my mom and I were kind of just sitting at a table by ourselves with the occasional visitor. One of the girls I could potentially be friends with arrived late and she and her mother sat at our table. Which was actually more awkward, because they were even more snarky, cynical, and sarcastic than we are, and that's fairly hard to come by. We were out-snarked.

While we were in the process of taking the mother/daughter photos (that we were unaware of), they started taking suggestions for father/daughter dance and escort/debs dance. Cue the immediate dread. 


I like weird music. I like really obscure, indie artists that a lot of people I know aren't familiar with, especially when country music is quite popular in these parts. (call me a hipster, I will kick you). So I knew that the music choices would probably be dreadful.

I was right.

They immediately selected "I Hope You Dance" as our father/daughter song. I'm actually okay with that song. It was just kind of odd, because that was the song my grandma "picked" for my little cousin when he was a baby right before she died.

I might not be particularly religious, but I do believe in signs.

The escort song was apparently a bit more challenging. They leafed through several really awful country songs before temporarily selecting "I'll Be," a song that just makes me want to kick a thousand splendid puppies. If you don't know it, YouTube it.

One of the members that I actually like because she's hilarious, Maria, wretched.
"Are any of you guys actually couples with your escort?"
No one.
So she said, "Pick something more fun! Don't pick something romantic-y."

I wanted to start a slow clap. But it would have been inappropriate.

And then suddenly, a change of heart from the debutantes.

"A Moment Like This."

No, really. Kelly Clarkson. "A Moment Like This."

I briefly considered hiding under the table.

But then it was time to leave, and I was free to heckle in the car with my mother all the way home.